ATTENTION WOMEN: WHAT PERSONAL ADS SCARE MEN AWAY FAST?

by Steve Nakamoto

In effort to keep people abreast of the very latest online dating trends, I'm offering some honest, but somewhat unpleasant feedback on a topic that most men wish that women were more aware of: how to write a personal ad that doesn't scare a man away instantly.

Some of a man's major dating concerns are:

1) the physical attraction isn't high enough
2) he may get bored easily
3) she has too many issues
4) she is too high-maintenance
5) too serious and not enough fun
6) she's a gold-digger
7) he feels intimidated
8) he can't relate to her world
9) he could never please her
10) she probably won't like me so why bother.
When it comes to composing a more effective personal ad, here are a few things to avoid (from actual online ads) if you want plenty of men with good intentions to respond:

BAD PHOTO

* Poor quality picture: Is this the best that you can do?
* Funky fashions: Are you a little bit strange or odd?
* Bad full body shot: This looks like the "before" of a diet ad
* Picture with cats: Oh no a cat lover! Men like dogs if anything.
* Picture with a baby: Do I really want the responsibility of an instant family?
* Picture with other people partially cut out: Is this the best that you can do?
* Party photos: Are you out on the town every weekend looking for guys?
* Too much jewelry: Do you need expensive items in order to be happy?
* Hats and dark sunglasses: Is there something wrong with your hair or eyes?
* Photo from too far away: I can't see your face so I might not take a chance.
* Photo is too close: Are your nose and chin really that huge?
* Black and white photo: How old is this photo?
* No smiles: Are you unhappy or too serious? At least I know you're not goofy!

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WEAK HEADLINE

* Looking for a Ryan Seacrest look-alike: Sounds like a bimbo!
* Juliet looking for Romeo: Romantic expectations too high. Just want a good time for now.
* Goofy girl who likes to laugh: Goofy is not a highly-valued quality.
* Animal lover: Are you like Doris Day and house full of animals or an animal rights activist?
* Former Cop: I'm guessing that you're too tough for me.

BELOW AVERAGE PROFILE

* More information than I want to know: freckles, a 911 dispatcher, recently separated, I can be chatty, I love shopping, I love to pamper myself at the saloon, recently laid off, I'm sometimes sarcastic.
* Unflattering characterizations: social butterfly, professional intellectual, super-woman, very independent (may mean too independent).

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The bottom line:

In today's fast-moving dating world, first impressions are sometimes the only chance that you ever get. When you are creating your own personal online ad, one key word, sentence, or less-than-great photo can make the difference between an instant "yes" and an instant "no." If you really want to get results from this highly productive endeavor, it is worth your while to do it the right way.